guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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