To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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