I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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