i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
