My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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