I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
