I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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