May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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