I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
