He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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