Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize