I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
