I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize