Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
