I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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