I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
