Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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