Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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