I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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