We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
