i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
