oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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