I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have post one night stand depression
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
