at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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