NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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