Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
