i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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