he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's never too late to be topless.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
