note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize