I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
