Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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