i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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