I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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