I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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