i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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