Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
