Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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