Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
