the condom got lost in my hair
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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