Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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