Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She bit a glass in half.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
