I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
