yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
