i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
