dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
