Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
