You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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