dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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