I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize