Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
