Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
