Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i out mim tonsoeep
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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