I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
