the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
