At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
