Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
