i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
