She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
