The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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