Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had sex on a roof
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
