Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
