Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
