After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
